A selection of posts I wrote on the fanfiction website Quotev that I was highly active on through my teenage years, under the username pi:
pi
Buzzfeed is legit the most shook place on the internet like you’re just scrolling and it pops up 11 Things Your Acne Would Say If it Could Talk and this like a normal article
December 12, 2016 ·Comment ·Like 80
pi
I had to walk home from school today ITS 2 FUCKING MILES and it’s like minus degrees I hate everything I think I’m going to faint from the cold there are black spots in my vision I think I’m hallucinating
December 1, 2016 ·Comment 12 ·Like 42
pi
when u see ur ex(es) hitting on ur sister:
:’)))) kms WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING
December 1, 2016 ·Comment 28 ·Like 46
pi
i cant wait to be an adult because then i can get up at 4am and drive to walmart and buy shoelaces if i want and there’ll be no consequences
November 20, 2016 ·Comment 1 ·Like 123
pi
india: OMG OUR CURRENCY
usa: OMG OUR ELECTIONS
uk: HOW DARE U CHANGE THE SHAPE OF TOBLERONE U BASTARDS
November 9, 2016 ·Comment 15 ·Like 74
pi
do u wanna just strangle urself every time trump speaks bc i do
October 19, 2016 ·Comment 7 ·Like 47
pi
my ex is smoking actual crack i really hate him rn
October 12, 2016 ·Comment 6 ·Like 12
pi
its my sister’s bday today but noo im stuck in the great land of america in a chemistry class with 3 ppl
do you think its safe to skype ?? i mean the teacher’s asleep
October 9, 2016 ·Comment 22 ·Like 54
pi
hellloo friends im am currently on an AIRPLANE to the U S of A and perhaps the flight attendant hath given me rum and im warm but holy EW how do grownups drink this shit
September 30, 2016 ·Comment 51 ·Like 36
pi
what google shows as my top searches:
-johnlock porn
-cat memes
-why are artists so poor
-string theory
June 26, 2016 ·Comment 2 ·Like 17
pi
what do you do with a sick chemist?
if you can’t helium and you can’t curium then you might as well barium
June 15, 2016 ·Comment 42 ·Like 236
pi
why are the nights always so bad
always?
May 24, 2016 ·Comment 5 ·Like 31
pi
life goals:
-draw eyeliner without messing up
-own 26 treehouses
-buy more froot loops
-fuck louis tomlinson
-make america great again
-go on a camping trip
-smoke cigs without crying
May 12, 2016 ·Comment 8 ·Like 82
pi
this world is getting weird
May 2, 2016 ·Comment 9 ·Like 72
pi
my mom was actually threatening to beat my little sister up till she was bleeding i dunno i’m really scared right now why is this legal
May 2, 2016 ·Comment 48 ·Like 92
pi
niall horan’s chest hair is on the feed i must run (toward)
April 27, 2016 ·Comment 4 ·Like 32
pi
my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like
‘is it gluten free?’
March 18, 2016 ·Comment 17 ·Like 37
pi
damn baby, are you the will to live? because i want you
March 18, 2016 ·Comment 17 ·Like 124
pi
“Nietzsche all over your mouth like liquor”
March 18, 2016 ·Comment 13 ·Like 278
pi
daaammnn life back at it again with the torment of being alive
February 18, 2016 ·Comment 3 ·Like 46
pi
IMMA FUCK SOMEONES WIFE
February 4, 2016 ·Comment 5 ·Like 58
pi
parents be like:
me: i got 100 on 100 this test
parents: you stupid child when i was gave a test i was getting 110 out of 100
February 2, 2016 ·Comment 4 ·Like 52
pi
parents be like:
me: i’m 16
parents: you stupid child when i was your age, i was 17
February 2, 2016 ·Comment 7 ·Like 38
pi
parents be like:
me: i’m tired of school
parents: you stupid child when i was in school, school was tired of me
February 2, 2016 ·Comment 2 ·Like 57
pi
ghosty hug you tightly
Wow pi is like the most beautiful girl on Quotev. Me be amazed 😮👻
8 seconds ago mobile Comment · Unlike
i squealeddd
February 1, 2015 ·Comment 14 ·Like 32
pi
OMG ROD LAVER WAS PRESENT AT THE WIMBLEDON GAME I JUST SAW HIM OMF IM CHOKING
DO YOU GUYS KNOW HOW LAVER IS?
HE WON ALL FOUR GRAND SLAMS IN A YEAR /TWICE/
HE HAS A FUCKING ARENA NAMED AFTER HIM HOLY SHIT HE’S A GOD
January 31, 2016 ·Comment 3 ·Like 39
pi
hello i’m pi and tennis fucks me up wbu
January 15, 2016 ·Comment 2 ·Like 31
pi
i’m listening to joy division and eating mentos like any drug addict
this whole before exam thing
its fun isnt it
January 28, 2016 ·Comment 12 ·Like 71
pi
im sad
and in pain 😥
January 13, 2015 ·Comment 5 ·Like 31
pi
2016 and quotev still doesn’t have a fucking app
January 4, 2016 ·Comment 18 ·Like 39
pi
i need a pill my head hurts so fucking much why do people have exams all they bring is misery and disappointment
my dad hates me so much ;-; i got an A instead of A+ on my history exam and he literally screamed at me and called me a loser and a dissapointment and threw my books so there’s that :’)) brb crying
January 2, 2016 ·Comment 67 ·Like 89
pi
officer: you know why I pulled you over?
me: -puts on sunglasses- cuz you’re a hater
officer: -points gun at me-
January 2, 2016 ·Comment 9 ·Like 60
pi
I cry myself to sleep every night
Wow we are in a drought you prick
December 23, 2015 ·Comment 4 ·Like 48
pi
being a girl is trash like i need my dick sucked
December 16, 2015 ·Comment 16 ·Like 32
pi
google homepage for beethoven’s bday is so fucking cute tho
December 17, 2015 ·Comment 2 ·Like 27
pi
this happened today when i got into the uber :0
driver: want water?
me: no
driver: want a mint?
me: no
driver: wanna make out?
me: run
December 3, 2015 ·Comment 8 ·Like 34
pi
TW: ED||| real talk tho one of my friend’s just said to me, “you’re the only person I know with an eating disorder who’s their goal weight” and Im like ??!!?? i’ve always been too skinny for most people’s tastes but i dont have a goal weight dude i’ve never restricted eating or any of that like i just got RLLY lucky to have a fast metabolism like i have the diet of a sewer rat rifling thru garbage
also shut up armchair psychiatrist wheres ur MD
November 22, 2015 ·Comment 19 ·Like 48
pi
the only body image issue i have is that i inhabit one
November 22, 2015 ·Comment 13 ·Like 35
pi
our cambridge school board is so fucking messed up they made us give the history one in a few weeks ago but the rest are ALL in march
like what are you trying to run here GCSE? a drug cartel???
November 8, 2015 ·Comment 6 ·Like 12
pi
For Black Friday I’m selling my virginity for half off its usual asking price
October 14, 2015 ·Comment 16 ·Like 51
pi
“I like to imagine the people who hate Christmas/Christmas music were molested by Santa Claus at some point in their life”
October 8, 2015 ·Comment 3 ·Like 41
pi
chelsea
Pi is losing her shit
Comment
I LOST MY SHIT LONG AGO HONEY
October 7, 2015 ·Comment 2 ·Like 22
pi
drinking mountain dew till we pass out and chill anyone?
September 25, 2015 ·Comment 14 ·Like 77
pi
*saves cat from tree with selfie stick*
September 13, 2015 ·Comment 8 ·Like 52
pi
the amount of meaningless conversations you will have at a party is unbelievable. It’s like listening to zebras fuck for 2 hours
August 4, 2015 ·Comment 23 ·Like 62
pi
when i drink alcohol people say im an alcoholic. but when i drink fanta no one says im fantastic ;(
August 1, 2015 ·Comment 18 ·Like 36
pi
i know my mom caught me out of bed but im here again
mwuaha
shes genuinely terrifying tho the woman is like a bloodhound
July 12, 2015 ·Comment 6 ·Like 12
pi
i fucking swear the word exam is like a trigger for me goddamn
July 11, 2015 ·Comment 3 ·Like 24
pi
THE EASISET WAY TO ANNOY ME IS TO WRITE A SUPER GOOD FANFCITION AND KILL ME WHILE I WAIT FOR UPDATES
WIATING FOR UPDATES IS SOMETHING I CANT FUCKING EVEN
July 3, 2015 ·Comment 66 ·Like 43
pi
putin is a fucking king
ppl are like obama has swag but have you seen vladimir
ALSO CALL ME A TANKIE AGAIN SND SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO U
July 3, 2015 ·Comment 26 ·Like 17
pi
lol i broke into my aunt’s house //noregrets
July 1, 2015 ·Comment 14 ·Like 26
pi
I DO NOT FUCKING GO ON THE INTERNET FOR YOUR BENEFIT I GO ON TO WATCH CUTE CAT VIDEOS AND COMPLETELY FINE WITH NOT TALKING TO YOU AND YOU CAN JUST FUCK OFF I DONT CARE ANY MORE dont EVer text me again asshoel
·Comment 2 ·Like 13
pi
I HATE IGCSE EXAMS FOR GIVING ME SO MUCH STRESS I LITERALLY HAD A DREAM THAT ALL MY FRIENDS GOT A+ AND I GOT A AND I WOKE UP AND STARTED CRYING
May 19, 2016 ·Comment 12 ·Like 31
pi
feed: im horny
me: i hate hitler
April 4, 2015 ·Comment 2 ·Like 23
pi
you cant stereotype me bc im a nerd and a sugr daddy and a tumblr girl all in one so what you gonna do huh
April 4, 2015 ·Comment 14 ·Like 36
pi
GUYS we’re doing nazi germany and soviet russia as case studies for our history board exams IC AN ALREADY TELL THIS IS GONNA BE A HUGE PART OF MY PERSONALITY fair warning ahf
March 30, 2015 ·Comment 37 ·Like 21
pi
im scared
just a lil bit
yknow its kinda dark
that white lady with dripping hair might come up behind me
BREATHE
March 11, 2015 ·Comment 19 ·Like 29
pi
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March 7, 2015 ·Comment 3 ·Like 30
pi
the boyfriend needs to come online
March 3, 2015 ·Comment 4 ·Like 14
pi
(singing) blue hair blue hair ONE DAY blue hair blue hairrrr
March 3, 2015 ·Comment 2 ·Like 8
pi
Adri
Pi is adorable oorp
Comment Unlike1
omg aw
March 1, 2015 ·Comment 1 ·Like 11
pi
“What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to rule the Earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle.” -Stephen King (Cell, 2006)
February 27, 2015 ·Comment 3 ·Like 13
pi
literally spending the whole day alternating between studying cold war, quotev and peeking at pre-US Open news flashes
February 19, 2015 ·Comment 4 ·Like 23
pi
I’m actually fine with my body. I know I’m really flat and weak and skinny in the wrong places. People make fun of me for it all the time. I get called anorexic all the time and bulimic and twig. But I know I don’t have those problems. If I’m fine with my body, why aren’t you? It’s your mentality that makes you happy/sad about yourself. So as long as I’m okay with myself, what other people say can’t hurt me. I know my face is not perfect, I know my eyes are weird. But after all who’s going to love your body if you don’t?
February 10, 2015 ·Comment 41 ·Like 48
pi
Scārlett
Dad: let me see your phone
me: delETES HISTORY
me: DELETES PICTURES
me: DELETES TEXTS
me: RESETS EVERYTHING
me: THROWS PHONE OUT WINDOW
me: what is a phone
1 minute ago mobile Comment · Unlike (4)
this is me if i had a phone
January 25, 2015 ·Comment 2 ·Like 24
pi
two of my friends like each other
and i sorta have crushes on both of them
this is fun
January 22, 2015 ·Comment 23 ·Like 27
pi
let’s talk about louis tomlinson’s dick , yeah?
January 18, 2015 ·Comment 2 ·Like 39
pi
when u been gone for ages but u still get love:
krystal
so glad she’s back pi is FAV
Comment Unlike6
January 10, 2015 ·Comment ·Like 11
pi
that dead pan laugh you have to give when you don’t want people to know you’re sad
January 6, 2015 ·Comment 8 ·Like 21
pi
I jsut discovered The Wombats from some harry styles twink rp account’s bio and can i just say
MY BODY IS A TEMPLE OF DOOOMMM, DOOMED NOT TO BE BY YOUR SIDE
SOMEONE PROTECT ME FROM THE ONE I LOVE #indiebandsALLTHEWAY
November 28, 2014 ·Comment 1 ·Like 25
pi
i’m a fun little lollipop triple dipped in psycho
November 22, 2014 ·Comment 5 ·Like 17
pi
janett
i think pi needs to sleep yknow
7 seconds ago + mobile Comment · Unlike (6)
SHH
September 5, 2014 ·Comment 2 ·Like 11
pi
eats more blackbird pie
September 5, 2014 ·Comment ·Like 7
pi
spits out feathers
September 5, 2014 ·Comment ·Like 7
pi
eats the blackbird pie
September 5, 2014 ·Comment ·Like 7
pi
im CACKLING guys the rlly annoying dudes who play soccer in the field in front of our building are back and me nd my sisters are THROWING ICE CUBES AT THEM THEYRE SO CONFUSED AHDHD
May 4, 2014 ·Comment 4 ·Like 10
pi
stay in drugs
don’t do vegetables
eat your school
May 4, 2014 ·Comment ·Like 8
pi
hi i’m pi i like eating oranges and calling people savage
April 15, 2013 ·Comment ·Like 5
Schizoposting 
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